From Satan to Rosie... one wac AIM convo...

[klamkilla]

This was a conversation I had about 20 minutes ago with my friend Chris (Chefhorrible). It touches base on almost everything in the world from Everyone HATES Raymond to Hot Topic ultra KeWl RaVeR ShIrTz....

chefhorrible: i cant believe im wasting my life away watching a leaugue of their own
NerdCoreRiot: madonna and rosie together on the big screen... shoot me now
chefhorrible: about as intellectually stimulating as a dirty sock
chefhorrible: less actually
NerdCoreRiot: to be fair its more intellectually stimulating than bio dome or in the army now (both starring pauly shore)
NerdCoreRiot: saw thursday tonight and made fun of them with russ the whole time because we were waiting impatiently for the bouncing souls
chefhorrible: yeah...but at least pauly shores NOT madonna or rosie o donell
chefhorrible: lol
chefhorrible: about how their meaning is blander than plain oatmeal
chefhorrible: ?
chefhorrible: and by meaning, i mean sound
chefhorrible: im quite retarded right now...dont ask
NerdCoreRiot: and how everyone acts like noone has ever screamed in a song before
NerdCoreRiot: until thursday
chefhorrible: blander than cathy petipas
chefhorrible: iha
chefhorrible: whered you see them at?
NerdCoreRiot: lupos in rhode island
NerdCoreRiot: oh and blahahahahahaha at your cathy petipas bash
chefhorrible: im sorry.....just decided i backhandedly insult someone from my past who really bothered me
NerdCoreRiot: she sucked so much ass... and dick I will assume
chefhorrible: but more dick
chefhorrible: and ill give her a break on the sucking ass part, because proportionally speaking, she probly sucks about as much ass compared to the amount she has, as anybody else
NerdCoreRiot: ahahahahahaha
chefhorrible: but then again, kristen richards couldnt possibly suck enough ass to maintain the average proportion....
NerdCoreRiot: yeah but liz brings up the curve
chefhorrible: could poin
chefhorrible: t
chefhorrible: good point*
chefhorrible: damn
NerdCoreRiot: oh and how rosie came out of the closet for real
chefhorrible: and the heir kind of overruns the regular proportions alot as well
chefhorrible: ??
NerdCoreRiot: shes a lesbian... I mean I knew that already but it was just a suspision... now she admitted it for real
chefhorrible: oh.....good.....now shell have the gay rights crowd as fans too, even though shes a @#%$ fat ugly butch talentless goon
chefhorrible: damn....im pissed off
NerdCoreRiot: you REALLY are
chefhorrible: and i guess the talentless thing was a little harsh
NerdCoreRiot: no
NerdCoreRiot: no it wasnt
chefhorrible: i guess if you consider manipulating the media adoring public as talent
NerdCoreRiot: I could talk about eating food for an hour and have a talk show about it and occasionally throw a koosh ball and call someone a cutie patootie
chefhorrible: your forgetting her incredibly awful sounding renditions of popular theme/broadway songs that no one gives @#%$ about too
chefhorrible: and she adopts kids....so we should respect her
NerdCoreRiot: oh yeah and her patented "guns are bad" speeches that lack any real arguments for why sh is anti gun yet millions of soccer moms now hate charlton heston because of her
chefhorrible: yup.....
chefhorrible: i just remembered im gonna be home on friday
chefhorrible: for a week
NerdCoreRiot: nice
NerdCoreRiot: good that's before I leave for florida with russ mike and ant
chefhorrible: whens that?
NerdCoreRiot: early april
chefhorrible: im looking forward to a nice productive week of driving to hyannis and doing absolutely niothing worthwhile
NerdCoreRiot: thats the spirit
NerdCoreRiot: the monday that you are down i will be at NOFX though
chefhorrible: and you might actually get your cds back
chefhorrible: i see
chefhorrible: do you know someone that has the screenname afibender___?
NerdCoreRiot: no
NerdCoreRiot: AFI sucks
chefhorrible: i double that
chefhorrible: probly one of the dumb kids at mashpee that thinks im mr allen
NerdCoreRiot: because AFI IS SOOOOOO HARRDKORE!!!!11
chefhorrible: stupid annoying teenagers suck
chefhorrible: especially if they like afi
NerdCoreRiot: Damn I just finished a can of Mountain Dew and I feel no urge to go mountain biking down an icy waterfall strapped to a bungee cord or other XTREME!!!11 activities... maybe my can is broken...
chefhorrible: lol...yeah just like how no suv owner has ever driven offroad....EVER
NerdCoreRiot: EVER
NerdCoreRiot: and how satanists are only satanists to defy the catholic church even though satan ONLY EXISTS as a facet OF the catholic church
chefhorrible: lol
chefhorrible: very true
NerdCoreRiot: yeah it is
NerdCoreRiot: also, where do good people go when they die?
NerdCoreRiot: and where do bad people go?
NerdCoreRiot: because I always thought it was heaven and hell respectively
chefhorrible: what defines a good person?
NerdCoreRiot: now satans whole schtick is to defy piss off and eventually overthrow god right?
chefhorrible: yup.....
NerdCoreRiot: and to do so hes going to need some soldiors of death or something
chefhorrible: ...
NerdCoreRiot: now... if youre satan and you enjoy evil and lets say hitler gets sent down to hell... are you gonna be an @#%$ and punish hinm eternally even though youre going to need his help?
NerdCoreRiot: or are you gonna be psyched that he commited genocide on gods follwers on earth?
NerdCoreRiot: im thinking that satan is planning a party for osama bin lauden when he gets to hell with all his top guys... hitler stalin napolien jerry garcia and mother theresa
chefhorrible: and the producer of the real world
NerdCoreRiot: who mary barnum
chefhorrible: you mean satan?
NerdCoreRiot: yes
NerdCoreRiot: oh hey lets get 7 attractive 21 year olds put them in a @#%$ expenses paid mansion send them to exotic locations around the world and watch them bitch about how shitty life is
chefhorrible: "hmm guys.......lets videotape people without any acting background......make it intersting by finding the most onedimensional stereotypical characters ever (so there can be guaranteed conflict)....and then try to rub our viewers stupidity by calling it THE REAL WORLD!!!!"
chefhorrible: viewers stupidity in their faces*
NerdCoreRiot: the gay guy, the repressed christian, the hunk, the slut, the token black guy, the rebel, the boring one that does nothing of interest all season
NerdCoreRiot: theres EVERY real world cast for you
chefhorrible: but they dont just all have those specific characters........
chefhorrible: they make sure each one is onedimensional shallow and unintelligent as possible
NerdCoreRiot: Ugh you know what is pissing me off? How 13 year old kids go into hot topic and buy a thundercats shirt and go OMG!!!11 LIEK THUNDERCATZ WUZ SOOOOO KEWL..... even though thundercats went off the air before they had the mental capacity to watch T.V.... I as an 18 year old only vaguely remember thundercats and I am supposed to believe that someone 6 years my minor remembers it crystal clear.... 80s cartoons shows should remain memories and not resurface on lo fi VHS
chefhorrible: i know.....really
NerdCoreRiot: I can understand Ninja Turtles, since it aired until 1996, but Strawberry Shortcake? Jem and the Holograms? Fraggle Rock? Most of those shows were off the air before they were 4 years old...
NerdCoreRiot: Maybe Hot Topic can get really Hot and Kewl and release HyPeR KewliES RAvER shirts for The New Kids on the Block and Kid n' Play animated serieses.
chefhorrible: ugh
NerdCoreRiot: Groom Killed By Stripper's Boobs
Wednesday January 16, 2002


GENEVA - A fun-filled bachelor party at a strip club turned deadly when a 32-year-old groom-to-be who was enjoying the attentions of a well-endowed stripper suffocated while his face was buried in her breasts.

The mind-boggling drama unfolded, say cops, while Daniel Greene was attending his bachelor party at the Pretty Kitty strip club.

The club had been rented out for the private affair.

According to investigators, Greene was enjoying a lap dance when disaster struck: One of the strippers, Kandy Kane, got too into her performance and suffocated the man between her 72-DD breasts.


chefhorrible: but raves are cool...arent they?
NerdCoreRiot: Witnesses said that Greene had had his fair share of beer, but didn't seem out-of-control.

When the song "I'm Too Sexy" began to play, Greene became excited and began to dance on the tabletop, hooting and hollering, pals said, "like an idiot."

Miss Kane, apparently pleased to see someone enjoying her choice in music, moved in closer.

When Greene took his seat, she began giving him a lap dance, shaking her breasts in his face.

The more she shook, the deeper Greene got lost in her cleavage.

"Daniel was having so much fun," partygoer John Gillman said.

"We all thought he loved being in that gal's chest.

"Who could have known that when he was waving his hands around, he was signaling for help?"

Cheering onlookers eventually realized that Greene was no longer moving, and pulled him from between Miss Kane's breasts.

Now Greene's family is suing Miss Kane and the Pretty Kitty for wrongful death.

Greene's father, George, won't specify the amount they are suing for, but claims that it isn't about the money.

"Those breasts were lethal weapons," he told reporters.

"The Pretty Kitty should not have allowed Miss Kane to have her bust enhanced to the size that she did.

"We hope that by filing this lawsuit, we can send a message to other strippers: keep your bra size within a reasonable range."

Kandy Kane made a statement through her attorneys: "I thought he liked it in there. "

The Pretty Kitty declined comment.


chefhorrible: talk about darwin award nominess
NerdCoreRiot: ahahaha
NerdCoreRiot: guess what I was psyched to hear
chefhorrible: ??
chefhorrible: rosie odonells dead?
NerdCoreRiot: the average male penis size fully erect is ONLY 4.5 inches in the U.S.... overlooking the obvious question of how and why this research was done I am psyched to be above the curve
chefhorrible: nice
chefhorrible: it was probly done by white middle aged scientists inscure about the size of their genitalia
chefhorrible: its not the size that matters
chefhorrible: anyway
NerdCoreRiot: and they were probbably dissapointed at the results
NerdCoreRiot: I think this is by far the best AIM conversation ive ever had
chefhorrible: nice
chefhorrible: glad to take part in it
chefhorrible: and i think a leauge of their own is the one of the worst movgies ive evr watched in my life
NerdCoreRiot: I think its worse than manos simply because it attempted to be funny
chefhorrible: the only way this movie could piss me off more is with.....
chefhorrible: o wait....there is a maddona song during the credits
NerdCoreRiot: or OMG TEH KID WITH THE RED HAIR IS SOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!11
NerdCoreRiot: AND TOM HANKS PISSES FOR LIEK TEM MINNETS!!!!!11
NerdCoreRiot: talk about not being selective about the movies you do...
chefhorrible: probly the ten best minutes of the damn film
NerdCoreRiot: I mean i think that one movie ( a league of their own) is worse than the WHOLE busom buddies series collectively
NerdCoreRiot: even though im sure there must have been ONE girl in that dorm uncomftorble with having a guy in drag living there... like some self righteous femme nazi lesbo bitch or something
chefhorrible: ts ok...slap tom hanks on a @#%$ atm security camera and hell get an oscar and the movie lots of money and cfredibility
chefhorrible: dont get me started
NerdCoreRiot: and let me tell you that everyone DOES NOT love raymond.... im going to start the official everyone DOES NOT love raymond crappy club for jerks
chefhorrible: id definitely run for vp
chefhorrible: im so screwed
chefhorrible: ive got a twelve page paper due tuesday
NerdCoreRiot: guh
NerdCoreRiot: about what?
chefhorrible: vincent van gogh
NerdCoreRiot: ughhhh such a lame stereotypical overdone topic
chefhorrible: i plan on doing what i do for every english paper....bullshit my way for twelve pages and try to pass off as actually having a thesis.....
chefhorrible: except im doing it on purpose this time
chefhorrible: college @#%$ rules
NerdCoreRiot: I'm getting off of this and going to sleep
chefhorrible: peace
NerdCoreRiot: see ya

The Rock Revolution Won't Be Televised!